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Traditional models for female extra‐pair matings assume that females benefit indirectly from extra‐pair mating behaviour. Under these so‐called adaptive models, extra‐pair males are hypothesized to have more compatible genotypes, larger body size, exaggerated ornaments or to be older than cuckolded males. Alternatively, (‘nonadaptive’) models that consider female extra‐pair matings to be a by‐product posit that female extra‐pair mating can be maintained even if there is no benefit to females. This could happen if, for example, males gained fitness benefits from extra‐pair mating, while female and male extra‐pair mating behaviours were genetically correlated. Extra‐pair males are also expected to be older and larger if this improves their ability to convince or coerce females to mate. We investigated whether a female's extra‐pair mates differed from her cuckolded mate in both genetic and phenotypic traits by …